Who are you going to "How are you?" today?

One of my absolute favorite parts about working on a story is the hunger I feel in my belly to just talk to people. Some are long-lost contacts. Some are friends. Some are professionals helping me figure out how to promote my last book. And some are the casual buddies who’ve been in and out of my life (thankfully in whenever I’ve needed them the most.)

So yes, I end up randomly sliding into people’s DMs just to have a small, often meaningless (sometimes meaningful) conversation, to reset and to reconnect. It’s become a habit I can’t seem to shake… and honestly, I’m not even trying to.

Now, why am I telling you all this? Why am I talking about messaging people out of the blue without really knowing if they even want to hear from me?

Simple answer: I want to clear my conscience.🫠 And let you know that I genuinely mean no psychological harm (I know, that sounded a bit heavier than intended).

I’m not trying to pry into your personal space or bring up things you may be trying to forget while scrolling through Instagram reels (trust me, I’m borderline addicted too).
I just want you to know: If I reached out, it’s because something… a line I wrote, a quote I read, a memory during a run, while cleaning my room, or even while reading a self-help book (yes! I am a fiction author but I do read those 🤷), reminded me of you (very specifically). And that moment led me to your DM (very intentionally).

This brings me to the point of this article. As I mentioned, it’s a habit that’s hard to shake, but I have some very specific people to blame for fuelling it in me. When you live away from your family, there are bound to be dry and lonely spells. Those days when you're feeling a little off, a little sick, and you find yourself looking for connections to fill the void that distance from home creates.

Productivity gurus might tell you to use that time wisely, get busy, stay distracted, or pour your energy into something meaningful. And I agree with that. I really do. But for me, sometimes, all it takes to brighten my day is knowing that someone, somewhere, is thinking about me.

Thankfully, I’ve found a circle of people who do that for me, and yes, they’re the ones you should blame for messing with my head in the best way possible and for motivating me to write this article. They’ve wired me to believe that if someone pops into your mind, even for a fleeting moment, it’s worth letting them know. And so, I try to do just that to anyone who plays even the smallest part in any of my passing thoughts.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that a simple “How are you?”, when asked with genuine intent and empathy, can make a world of difference in someone’s day. We’re all going through our own struggles. And more often than not, it’s incredibly hard to open up and tell someone how we’re really doing. But what we can do is offer the person in front of us a safe outlet, the space to share if they choose to. Of course, opening up is entirely their choice, and it’s important to remember that we’re not responsible for fixing anyone’s life. Honestly, most of us are still trying to make sense of our own (mine’s a bit of a mess too 🥲). But giving someone the chance to feel seen, to feel that someone is thinking of them, never hurts.

Sometimes, it’s not about having the right answers. It’s just about being there, asking the question, and genuinely meaning it.

So go ahead, don’t hold back from reaching out to that person you’ve been meaning to message for a while now. Maybe you’ve been postponing it because your calendar never seems to allow for a pause. Still, ask them, “How are you doing?” I probably don’t need to say this, but I will anyway: don’t be a creep. Seriously. People already have a lot on their plates, and the last thing they need is someone making things worse by invading their space. If you’re sliding into someone’s DMs, do it with kindness and respect. The goal is to check in, not to cause discomfort.☺️ 

We’re all caught in this never-ending cycle of expectations. We often look for something in return when we put effort into things. But all of that should take a back seat when you're reaching out just to check in. This isn’t about needing a response or fixing anyone’s life. It’s simply about offering a choice… a gentle reminder that they’re being thought of.

If they feel like replying, they will. If they don’t, maybe it’s just not the right time. And either way, full marks to you for showing up and trying.

So? Who are you going to “How are you?” today?

Until next time, keep your messages coming! I genuinely love hearing from you. Whether it's curiosity about the characters, theories about the plot, or just a message to say you’re reading. Find me on Instagram at @ankeshkprasad or drop me an email at [email protected]. I try to read and respond to every message because your words matter to me more than you know.

If you haven’t already, please do check out my debut novel, They Would Die For You! Available now in both Paperback and Kindle editions.

And if you’ve made it this far into this little letter of mine, thank you. Truly. Take one more step and tell me what you thought of this article. Whether it’s a single line or a long message… I’d love to know. When you reach out to someone who’s poured their heart into creating something, it can mean the world. So yes, your response matters deeply to me.