Let them. Let me. Let go.

If I have to sum up the last few months in terms of feelings and emotions, I would say that I have been drowning in the shallow end of my own pool. I have been feeling akin to how I used to feel in the initial days of my swimming training, that particular terror of being submerged, lungs burning and limbs heavy with the weight of water that shouldn't feel this impossible to move through.

I have been trying to feel the emotions to the very core. Doing it made me realise that for the longest period of my life, I have chased the reasons like they were coins scattered at the bottom of the deep end. But more than that, I have chased people, chased some form of comfort in relationships that might keep me afloat. I have dove down again and again, eyes stinging, chest aching, reaching for things I was expected to do, convinced that if I could just hold them in my hands, if I could just not let anyone down, everything would make sense. I kept swimming toward what I thought would save me, toward the people who might pull me up, toward the obligations that felt like lifelines but weighed me down instead.

But there is something irrefutable about being underwater for long. There's a strange kind of peace in it. A silence that exists nowhere else, where the noise of the world above becomes muffled and distant. In those moments between struggling and surfacing, when I stop fighting and just float suspended, I can hear my own heartbeat. I can feel the boundaries of my own body in a way I forget when I'm drowning in everyone else's needs.

I journaled, letting pieces of myself spill onto the page like drops of water through cupped hands. I spoke with friends too, sometimes openly, sometimes in half-hidden ways, because sharing still feels like standing at the edge of a pool, unsure if I will sink or be caught. Yet I am glad I did. The people who know me best reminded me I do not have to carry the weight alone.

Reading my own words and replaying those conversations made me realise that letting go is not only an act but a skill. I have often begun the process yet somewhere midway, mid-stroke and mid-breath, I panicked and tightened my grip again, dragging myself back into the undertow.

In the quiet hours, I turned to the voices that have long been companions in my solitude, the podcasters I trust. (People who give language to feelings I have struggled to name. 🫰) It was through them that I stumbled across two books (The Let Them Theory and Letting Go), each offering not promises of rescue but sets of tools. The tools felt like the very strokes I have been missing in my own flailing. They were not life preservers thrown at me, but techniques I could learn, refine, and eventually master, so that the act of letting go might finally stop feeling like drowning and start feeling like floating.

I broke down the steps for working on myself into the following three :-
1. Let Them.
2. Let Me.
3. Let Go.

I have often allowed the way people treat me to shape the way I see myself. Too many times I convinced myself their actions were justified, even when I was not at fault. I carried the blame as though it belonged to me, letting guilt settle in my chest. Call it people-pleasing or call it lack of self-belief, but it has been my pattern for years.🫠 Still, there comes a point when a line must be drawn.

For the past month, whenever someone’s actions have hurt or upset me, I have tried to simply let them. I give them their space, allow them to make their choices, and deal with things in their own way. It is not about becoming careless. It is about honoring their choices while staying true to myself. I am not responsible for how someone chooses to react, but I can still meet them with empathy rather than guilt. Trying to manage how others feel or act is not kindness, it is control. Blaming myself for their behavior has only kept me stuck in guilt that was never mine to hold.

This is my attempt at change: I’m learning to let people be who they are and to stop making myself responsible for how they treat me… whether it’s good or bad. The bonus? When I let them, they eventually reveal their true selves by either choosing to be equally vulnerable or by completely running away from the situation.🙂 

This is only the first step. What felt most important was shifting the spotlight back to myself, focusing on the let me part. Once I set down the baggage that never truly belonged to me, I began giving myself permission to choose what to do with the feelings that remain. I have been learning to sort through the options in front of me and act with a sense of balance, honoring both my boundaries and those of others. Sometimes it is as small as taking a walk to clear my head, and sometimes it is as big as deciding to stop pouring my energy into someone entirely.

For me, it is not about punishing myself when I am in the wrong. It is about allowing myself to respond in the best way I know how. If I am right, I carry on with peace. If I am wrong, I try to make it a lesson worth remembering.

Finally, if I have managed the first two steps, I move to the point where I try to let go of the thoughts that linger in the corners of my mind. Negative thoughts are often nothing more than distorted pictures of the worst possible outcomes. Instead of letting them dictate how I feel, I try to shift my focus to the physical sensations they stir up in me. If that becomes overwhelming, I return to my breath. I remind myself that not everything needs to be solved in this moment. Sometimes it is enough to let the thoughts and feelings be, knowing they will soften with time.

Whenever I have tried to control my thoughts, I have only spiraled into darker chains of them. So now I practice not forcing anything. Instead of acting on every emotion, I wait, I breathe, and I let the emotion pass.

I am not a pro at this (yet!). Writing about it and putting it out there for almost anyone to read makes me feel more accountable. This feels right, and that is all that should matter, right? I am still learning, but I am improving every single day.🤞

If you relate to any part of what I am sharing, try this method I have drawn from the two masterclass books I mentioned above.

All it takes is the mantra… Let them. Let me. Let go.

And if you’ve made it this far into this little letter of mine, thank you. Truly. Take one more step and tell me what you thought of this article. Whether it’s a single line or a long message… I’d love to know. So yes, your response matters deeply to me.

Find me on Instagram at @ankeshkprasad or drop me an email at [email protected]. I try to read and respond to every message because your words matter to me more than you know.

If you haven’t already, please do check out my debut psychological thriller fiction novel, They Would Die For You!
Available now in both Paperback and Kindle editions.